This is post 100 on my blog! Thanks for reading along and for the encouraging words to continue with it.
If you haven’t picked up on this by now, I think massage is great. I began thinking of things that massage is better than. So here, in no particular order (or maybe there is an order, for you secret code-breakers out there) is –
100 things that massage is better than.
1- It’s better than a sharp stick in the eye. This is an old hillbilly saying, courtesy of my dad.
2- It’s better than being stuck in traffic.
3- It’s better than not getting a good night’s sleep.
4- It’s better than having a disease named after you.
5- It’s better than letting a repetitive activity cause you pain. Massage can work as maintenance and put muscles back in their proper place.
6- It’s better than turning your phone on silent, then forgetting where you put it, so you can’t call it and hear it go off.
7- It’s better than having your muscles tied up in knots.
8- It’s better than getting a flat tire in the rain.
9- It’s better than not being able to find your glasses.
10- It’s better than having a headache. Massage provides relief from tension headaches to migraines.
11- It’s better than having an inane song stuck in your head.
12- It’s better than working on your taxes.
13- It’s better than having dry skin. Massage helps gives you softer and more moisturized skin.
14- It’s better than watching scary movies on Friday the 13th during a full moon in a creepy house all by yourself.
15- It’s better than letting a little problem develop into a big one. Massage can keep small problems in their place. Big problems develop by ignoring them when they are small.
16- It’s better than being under so much pressure that volcanoes are jealous of you.
17- It’s better than having your tongue stuck to a frozen pole like the kid in “A Christmas Story”.
18- It’s better than getting sunburned. Especially on your feet. That’s so annoying.
19- It’s better to smile than to scowl. Massage lets you remember where you left your smile.
20- It’s better than a stiff neck.
21- It’s better than changing diapers.
22- It’s better than waiting in line, especially in the express line behind people who have too many items.
23- It’s better to breathe deeply than short, shallow breaths. Deep breathing helps you relax and slow down. You can do this anytime and anywhere. Well maybe not while under water or being chased by an angry rhino.
24- It’s better than feeling like you have no energy. Massage can help you feel good so you want to do more.
25- It’s better than not being aware of your body. You feel better after a massage, so you begin to notice when something starts to hurt. A small change can prevent future painful problems.
26- It’s better than somebody telling you the ending of a movie that you want to see.
27- It’s better than feeling like a piece of uncooked spaghetti – all stiff and inflexible. Wouldn’t it be better to feel like a cooked piece, all loose and limber? Massage can do that without stuffing you in a pot of boiling water.
28- It’s better than having a paper cut.
29- It’s better to sing than snarl. Even if you just sing to yourself, sing.
30- It’s better than having jaw pain.
31-It’s better than being on the wrong side of the bathroom door.
32- It’s better than political commercials. Even politicians don’t like them. The crime rate would go down if that’s all prisoners got to watch on TV and listen to.
33- It’s better to feel like you can move fluidly and gracefully than to feel stiff and clumsy.
34- It’s better than holding a grudge. Is it that big of a deal? Can you let it go and feel better?
35- It’s better than being wound up tight. Loosen up your body and mind and feel the freedom of movement, energy, and thought.
36- It’s better than not getting the joke people around you are laughing at. It’s OK, some of them didn’t get it either.
37- It’s better than that recurring weird dream. You know the one.
38- It’s better than shoes that are too tight.
39- It’s better than feeling anxiety. Massage helps calm everything down.
40- It’s better than having a sore shoulder. Or two sore shoulders.
41- It’s better than going to the dark side.
42- It’s better than breaking the shoestrings in every shoe you own on the same day and the only footwear you have are diving flippers.
43- It’s better than waking up in pain. That’s a crummy way to start your day.
44- It’s better than a late rush assignment on Friday that makes you work on the weekend.
45- It’s better than trying to carry the weight of responsibilities all of the time. Massage gives you a time to put them down for a while. When you pick them up again, they may not seem so heavy.
46- It’s better than having to rhyme everything you say.
47- It’s better than having a bad habit. Massage can make you feel better and want to do better.
48- It’s better than a camping trip in a thunderstorm.
49- It’s better than having arthritis pain.
50- It’s better than not being able to turn your head. Turning your whole body to look to the side doesn’t count.
51- It’s better than being boring. Get a massage to feel good, then go do something!
52- It’s better than losing your car keys. Or house keys. Or piano keys.
53- It’s better than feeling unproductive. Get rid of some pain and stress and get more done.
54- It’s better than hitting a skunk with your car. Or with anything really.
55- It’s better than being deprived of touch. Touch is a basic human need and many people don’t get enough in their daily lives. Massage is a safe way to receive the touch you may be lacking.
56- It’s better than dwelling on your problems. Massage helps clear your mind and allow solutions in.
57- It’s better than having bad posture. Getting loosened up helps you have good posture.
58- It’s better than finding out somebody ate the last piece of chocolate or the last cookie.
59- It’s better than having your shoulders up by your ears. Let them go back down where they belong. They like it better there.
60- It’s better than back pain. No, bending your back is not overrated.
61- It’s better than having howler monkeys who have an ongoing argument with a pack of coyotes take up residence outside your bedroom window every night.
62- It’s better than getting a computer virus.
63- It’s better than finishing shoveling your driveway in the winter then have the snow plow push more snow in.
64- It’s better than somebody always correcting your grammar. The grammar police are not allowed in the massage room with you.
65- It’s better than feeling stressed. Stress makes everything harder.
66- It’s better than having a picture of you turn into an internet meme.
67- It’s better than a mosquito buzzing in your ear when you are about to fall asleep.
68- It’s better than losing the TV remote. Even worse if it is political commercial season.
69- It’s better than needing to take pills for pain regularly. Even if you own stock in the pill companies.
70- It’s better than foot pain. Foot massage can help all parts of your legs, and even your hips and back feel better.
71- It’s better than feeling grumpy and crotchety. Relieve some stress and try acting with kindness and you will probably get some back.
72- It’s better than being attacked by pirates. I bet those guys would feel better if they got a massage.
73- It’s better than giving up on a dream or a goal. Feel better and try again!
74- It’s better than thinking you wrote something important in invisible ink but it wasn’t.
75- It’s better than not being listened to. When you come in I will give you my full attention the whole time. Nothing else is as important to me as you are. You came in for a reason. You deserve to be heard and get the service you need.
76- It’s better than having a whistle in your nose, a frog in your throat, and the hiccups all at the same time.
77- It’s better than having poison ivy. A lot.
78- It’s better than trying to read the fine print in a contract, or reading the license agreements from computer software.
79- It’s better than being in a foul mood. In just an hour your day can turn around.
80- It’s better than calf pain. From your leg, not a small cow, although I guess a small cow could hurt you, so it’s better than that too.
81- It’s better than trying to remember all of your computer passwords.
82- It’s better than college tuition, or student loan bills.
83- It’s better than living in the past or worried about the future. Massage helps you be in the present.
84- It’s better than having everything you own covered in glitter.
85- It’s better than thinking that nobody cares about you. Although we may not be close friends or even see each other outside of your appointments, you are important to me.
86- It’s better than living with regret. What is it that you really want? Go for it!
87- It’s better than having your mind feel fogged up. I always feel like I can think much more clearly after a massage.
88- It’s better than going back to work sore after weekend home project or sports adventures.
89- It’s better than accidentally sending that email you wrote to get your anger out.
90- It’s better than hip and leg pain.
91- It’s better than walking barefoot across a floor covered in Lego pieces. In the dark.
92- It’s better than pulling weeds from your garden.
93- It’s better than watching TV. Unless maybe it’s Bugs Bunny. He’s hard to beat. You can find those online after your massage though.
94- It’s better than your cereal getting all soggy or your eggs getting cold.
95- It’s better than living with chronic pain. Massage can’t cure everything but it can make daily living better and give you a way to manage it.
96- It’s better than always trying to be perfect. Come on, nobody can do that. The people you care about aren’t perfect and don’t expect you to be either.
97- It’s better than a bad haircut.
98- It’s better than having to do something for somebody. Anybody. It gives you an entire hour, all to yourself, that you are responsibility free.
99- It’s better than keeping a poor body image. Massage lets your body feel good which makes it easier to have a better image.
100- It’s better than reading a long list of things on a blog post.
What do you think massage is better than? Leave a comment or tell me on your next visit.
Barry is a licensed massage therapist at Main Street Massage in Hudson Ohio. You can learn more at www.HudsonMassageTherapy.com
This is one to come back to again and again for a good laugh! Great post man, I love it! (#72!! YARR!)
Thanks Matey. Maybe massage therapists can put an end to piracy!
Better than a paper cut– with LEMON JUICE ON TOP 🙂
It’s better than being fired by the king’s stinking son for doing rotten miracles.
LOL Barry! Way to go on the 100th blog. This list is terrific. Besides, if you haven’t got your health, you haven’t got anything.
Glad you liked it Kristen. Truly you have a dizzying intellect.