You have been wronged by somebody. It happens to each of us. The amount of pain you feel varies, depending on factors like the size of the event, what else is going on in your life, and how close you are to the other party. Some things we don’t consider a big deal and we move on easier. Others however are harder to get past. You hold on to it.
We use the phrases “holding a grudge” or “carrying a grudge”. When you consider them, it is revealing that they both involve effort on your part. Obviously carrying something involves action and effort. Holding something does also. Even something light that is held for a long time becomes tiring. To carry or hold something requires energy and attention – which then can’t be used for another purpose.
Even small things can build up and take a toll. When extra items are added to what you carry, like to a purse or book bag or briefcase, eventually the cumulative effect builds up and take a toll on you. When you stop and clean out your bag, you realize you have been repeatedly hauling around items that are not needed. Carrying the bag becomes much easier when you lighten the load. It also frees up space for what is actually beneficial to you.
When you keep a grudge you are mostly hurting yourself. Your peace of mind, joy, and happiness suffer. Your focus is on the negative and the past instead of the positive and the present and future. You exchange current and future happiness for the pain of the past, The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. It is your choice what you hold or carry. It is your choice to put down a grudge.
Putting the grudge down doesn’t mean you approve of or condone what happened. You are simply deciding not to let it affect your happiness and well-being any longer. It doesn’t mean you are weaker than anybody else; it actually shows how much stronger you are. When you think back to a time when you hurt somebody else, even accidentally, it is such a relief to know that the other person is not holding it against you. If you need to take steps to mend a relationship, do it. A great friendship can be built. Even if it doesn’t work out perfectly, you can know you did what you could to make things right.
Massage is a great way to clear your mind. You can walk out with a better perspective and leave those grudges behind. Feel free to leave them with me – I know how to handle them.
Barry is a licensed Massage Therapist at Main Street Massage in Hudson, Ohio. Find out more about him, his business, and massage at www.HudsonMassageTherapy.com